Your Sexually Addicted Spouse

Book excerpt: Sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior often steal a person's ability to achieve emotional or sexual intimacy. Both addicts and their partners may suffer in isolation, ashamed and afraid, not knowing where to turn for help. Your Sexually Addicted Spouse shatters that stigma and shame and provides understanding and empathy for the addict and his or her spouse. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking research was the first to show that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors' lives. Chapters end with "On a Personal Note" questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy. Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, CCPS, CPC specializes in helping women recover from sexual betrayal and is a sought-after speaker and presenter on special issues related to partners of sexual addicts. She was the founding President of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, an organization that provides training and certification of Clinical Partner Specialists and Partner Trauma Coaches. She has counseled and coached betrayed spouses/partners for over twenty years and her research on trauma after betrayal has changed the field. Barbara also consults with other professionals and provides training for those who want to help partners heal. Marsha Means, MA, founder and director of A Circle of Joy Ministries, is trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist, and writes and speaks on the topic of betrayal trauma and sex addiction. Her work is based on both her personal and professional experience. She has written several books on the topic. Marsha and her team of coaches offer individual and group support for partners of sex addicts. In addition, Marsha facilitates couple's groups to help them learn to heal the damage done by betrayal trauma.