To Hell I Ride: When a Life Examined Became Worth Living

Book excerpt: Most assumed Jason Carter lived a wonderful life. Remarkable wife. Amazing kids. And an oversized house close to the country club. But something reeked. While discussing thoughts of suicide, a renowned psychiatrist pinpoints the musky sock floating in the soup-his unchecked drinking. Days later, bristling from her rubber-stamped diagnosis, he sets off driving from Texas to Telluride, searching for clarity. Hypnotized by the open road, he finds himself wheeling through a sequence of toxic vignettes that accelerated his ruin. His balmy adolescence, wrecked by divorce. The maddening demise of his complicated father. Flapping untethered through teen hurricanes. Bumbling through college. Chasing fool's gold from Manhattan to LA. Getting married, when his self-destructive drinking bloomed like a towering autumn crocus. To Hell I Ride is a determined, darkly comedic journey into extreme self-awareness. As Jason explores his past, he confronts the interpersonal demons haunting him today. Hyperobservant and brutally honest, he bares it all-how alcohol crept into his life, the wolfish anguish lurking inside each drink, and the sacred truth shielding him from salvation. Like an unsparing highlight reel reminiscent of Back to the Future meets The Shining, clip by clip, Jason watches himself evolve into the man he wants to kill.