The Brushback Report

Book excerpt: The signs of the sports apocalypse are everywhere: Terrell Owens roams our streets a free man, the U.S. Congress is sampling sluggers’ urine tests; and worst of all, Americans are starting to take bicycle racing and soccer seriously. So who dares to step into the breach that separates sport from madness? The intrepid news team of The Brushback, the Internet’s most trusted and honored sports journal.* For intelligent fans (and by that, we mean those who read books–or at least the back covers) who are fed up with end-zone celebrations, inane sportscasters, luxury boxes, and eleven-dollar bleacher dogs, The Brushback Report will be chin-music to your ears. So put down the remote, Sparky, and pick up this book to get the real stories behind the hottest news headlines of our times: “Nation’s Jobless Receive Emergency Airlift of Madden 2006” “WNBA Players Give Up Trying to Be Sexy” “Hockey Surpassed in Popularity by Air Hockey” “New Girlfriend Weirded Out by Derek Jeter Fanpage” “Team with Lots of Heart Beaten by Team with Lots of Money” There’s no sporting cliché too trite and no inspiring story too corny to lampoon. From team owners on down to the guy who pirates Wrestlemania off cable TV, nothing or no one is spared the Brushback treatment. Hilarious and defiantly politically incorrect, The Brushback Report gives us the world of sports in all its demented glory. * Not really. We’re just pumping up our stats before the start of contract renegotiations.