Just Don't Be an Asshole

Book excerpt: Take it from a mom who raised two teenage boys into actual humans—yes, they can and do change. This is her tough love and candid advice on being a good guy in a world full of assh*les. Have you ever returned the family car with less than a quarter tank left? Or gotten a technical in a rec-league basketball game? If so, you might be an assh*le—or you’re at least acting like one. But there’s hope for you yet! As it turns out, everyone needs to learn one major lesson to safely avoid assh*le territory: Other people are also humans. (Whoa.) This frank, funny, and necessary guidebook contains everything young men need to know to have positive interactions, make better decisions, and recognize when they’re being jerks. Things like, just don’t be an assh*le . . . • To your family: Parents are not your servants. • To your friends: They’ll laugh at you, not with you. • At work: No one wants to hear your podcast idea. • To women: “Are you up?” doesn’t qualify as romance. • Online: If you wouldn’t do it in real life, don’t do it. • In real life: People unlike you are also people. • To yourself: It’s okay not to have all the answers. And if someone got you this book, don’t be an assh*le to them. Instead, consider this a gentle nudge in a different direction.