I'm Not Eating Any Of That Foreign Muck

Book excerpt: The author of Rule Number 5: No Sex on the Bus is on the road again, only this time he has Harry, his 73 year old, meat-and-three-veg loving dad in tow. On a two month odyssey they geographically retrace Harry's life, and in the process Brian Thacker finally gets to really know his father and maybe even get him to eat some of that foreign muck'. One of the drawbacks of writing funny, irreverent and - worse yet - honest travel books is that you can't stop your parents from reading them. Because once they have they forever have the upper hand when it comes to knowing about all those insane overseas adventures you'd really rather they didn't. In a fearsomely foolish display of pro-activity Brian Thacker decided the only way to get his own back, and finally uncover the truth about his dad's mysterious early life, was to scam a couple of business class flights and drag 73-year-old Harry Thacker off the couch and half way across the planet to such far-flung and exotic locations as Gibraltar, Sri Lanka, Malta, Singapore and - not forgetting that haven of the international jet set -Butlin's Holiday Camp at Mine Head, in an attempt to retrace his Dad's history Along the way Brian's hoping to finally figure out just how Harry lost those two fingers on his right hand, not to mention where he picked up such an inexhaustible supply of truly awful jokes. Which is all fine with Harry, just so long as Brian's paying and Harry doesn't have to eat any of that bloody foreign muck.