Ghostbox

Book excerpt: Two years after Walter R. Jacobs was forced to call his new stepmother "Mom," she cancelled what would have been his 13th Christmas. In the memoir Ghostbox Jacobs explores a life where family problems are blamed on "disrespectful" children who refused to accept "Mom's" authority. His stepmother is a "sociological ghost," a force that limited his thoughts and decisions until he filled a special shoebox with objects that evoke significant memories: good, bad, and ugly. This "ghostbox" has rendered his stepmother's seething presence benign. Jacobs investigates how just a relatively short stay in his stepmother's house (seven years with his stepmother, father, and younger brother) led to almost twenty years of questions about multiple facets of his identity, such as the proper rules and rhythms of life as an African-American college professor. In the end, he finds the key to finally and completely breaking away from the dysfunctions that threatened his self-esteem and ability to interact normally with others. Jacobs includes an appendix of guidelines readers may use to create their own ghostboxes. He invites readers into a world where they can reflect on troubling aspects of their lives, and create strategies for making empowering changes.