Delancey's Stapler

Book excerpt: Spring 196-,on the campus of the U of C and D--,incrumbling World War II barracks foreshadowingVietnam --incoming freshmanare driven by testosterone, fear, anda dim sense of obligationto become"men." Draft boards close in. Beautiful co-eds drift doe-eyed under the pine trees on the Quadrangle, circled by upper-class Jocks likeso many sharks.Professors profess from the pulpits of various disciplines, aneon mermaid throbs in the night sky at the apex of the L-shaped business district, andthe latestGirl of the Month appears like clockwork in brazenglory on the wall aboveRoger Osborn's Love Candle. In the midst of such perils, what chance has a late bloomer like The Gnat? Abudding misanthropein a black raincoat like Martin Calihan? An accidental housemother like nubile Susan Thurlby -- oraneurotic maiden like lissome Shelley Wencelas, running against her will forExhibit Day Queen -- or Osborn himself, the reluctant Jock transformed by ruthless publicity into The Freshman Whiz? Osborn doesn't know, but he's determined to think of something -- after all,human relationships are hisspecialty. And the jungle iswaiting. And life. Ordeath. While nearby,steadfast inhis questfor orderin the midst of chaos, armed by theconcept of duty, his green eyeshade and histrustystapler, lurksLawrence DeLancey...