My Life: The Sitcom

Book excerpt: Welcome to My Life: The Sitcom, featuring the panderings and ponderings of Yours Truly, Chadd Wheat. Believe it or not, many of you have actually asked for this book. I don't know if you intend on using it for the bottom of the birdcage, evidence in impending legal actions, or simply as a guide to living frivolously. Whatever the case, I hope you enjoy it. I started writing My Life: The Sitcom in 2002. Most of my articles, as published in The Lebanon Reporter and elsewhere, are my direct observations on the craziness that surrounds my life. Nearly all the events contained herein are actually true, with the names sometimes changed to protect the ignorant. People often ask me where I get the inspiration to write my ludicrous columns. After rubbing my chin and looking sage, I usually say something like, "by consuming too much reality television, caffeine and other borderline hallucinogens. Ha, ha! Just kidding, local law enforcement! As a matter of fact, I never watch reality television!