Jest the Funny Bits: poems, stories and plays for children aged 9 to 12

Book excerpt: Jest the Funny Bits is a collection of Bill’s comic poems, plays and short stories. He had a lot of fun writing them and he really hopes you have fun reading them. However, spoiler alert, they’re not for everyone. If you’re a humourless sour grumpy-pants, whose face would split in two if you attempted to smile or laugh, then, whatever you do, don’t read this book! Also, since it is sure to induce giggles, it is best not to read it out loud. After all, humour is contagious, so if you start laughing, you could cause of a charge of chuckles, even a gush of guffaws. We’re sure you wouldn’t want that on your conscience. By the end of the book, you may think the author is a very silly person. You’d be right, too, but at least he’s not a humourless grumpy-pants. Warning: Open this book at your peril! You are about to enter the untamed wilds of Bill Condon’s imagination. Jokes, gags, twisted rhymes, outrageous puns, riotous characters and all the things you least expect lie in wait around every corner. Be prepared to smile, giggle, laugh, groan and guffaw. You might just need a new funny bone when you’re done. – Michael Gerard Bauer, author, The Things That Will Not Stand