In All Directions

Book excerpt: It is the middle of summer and a group of British holidaymakers are embarking on a two-week whistle-stop coach tour of Western Europe under the dubious auspices of ‘Conn Tours’ Coach Holidays. Among the group are Frank and Joyce. They are not used to holidaying abroad and now that Frank has retired, Joyce is not sure how, or indeed if, she will cope with his obsessions, his bad temper and his weak bladder. Then, there are Dave and Susan. Dave enjoys everything to excess, especially food and alcohol, apart from sex. Susan, for her part, is starting to have some strange and uncomfortable fantasies. Student, Barbara, released from the stifling shackles of life at home is determined to enjoy every minute of her holiday, both inside and outside the hotel bedroom. Julia and Trevor are recently married (the second time for Julia) and Trevor is looking forward to a romantic holiday – he is lovesick. Julia, on the other hand, is just homesick. As the tour gets underway, it is increasingly beset by problems, delays, accidents and incompetence and Miranda, the “tour Director”, who clearly has issues of her own, begins to lose control. As problems pile up, the frustrations increase and members of the group face some increasingly difficult decisions about what they need to do to salvage their holiday and their relationships